if i dont type this down i dont know when i will ever do it. prolly not in the future cause i'd be thinking it is a bad idea. i really wish im at a time where things werent so fragile as they were now.

anyway. i know i should prolly be very immune to losing people. but i guess im not. well. im prolly on a verge of losing someone important. maybe i have already, i dont know. i feel sad about it but im not motivated to do anything about it either. half of me hopes that it would be alright. but half of me know it isnt. I hate how im at war with myself on this. but i know i cant go on about it speaking about my feelings because some bitches would prolly be like "er........ what...?" " what is she tryna do" blah blah blah. ya i sound like some paranoid bitch. maybe i am.

but at the end of the day, i cant force anyone to make any decision. so thats that. so i decided to forget that this happened. besides. when one door closes another opens, right?